If I took a survey right now asking if confidence was an attractive quality for a man or a woman, I'm sure 90% of the people surveyed would say that confidence is sexy.  Confidence has been known to draw women to men whom they wouldn't have normally been attracted to.  Confidence gives an otherwise normal person "something extra" that draws our attention and flips our hearts into overdrive when it otherwise wouldn't come out of neutral.

It's a fact that the outward appearance can initially draw you to a person, but its that person's personality and confidence that keeps you there.  Everyone wants to be with someone who knows what they want out of life and believes in him or herself.  How else can you be the power couple that everyone dreams of being a part of if one party doesn't believe they have any power at all?

Where balanced self-esteem and confidence in oneself helps keep relationships strong, a lack of confidence and low self-esteem are cancerous to relationships.  

A lack of self confidence affects every aspect of relationships.  It will cause your sex life to go from fireworks to barely a fizzle.  One person's insecurities about their body can cause them to recoil from sex with their partner. This is simply because of an assumption about how their partner views their body.  The reality is that the person with low self-esteem is pushing their view of themselves onto their partner.  Remember: your insecurities about your body are just that: yours.  Your partner is with you because they love you and they are happy with you - all of you.  If you have insecurities about your body, you can work on those things one step at a time which will build your confidence.  

Also, a lack of confidence in your sexual prowess will also become a wall between you and your partner. If you feel like you have a low "freak number", do something about it!  Instead of becoming more reserved, explore your sexuality with your partner and you'll find that your sex life will become more titillating as you begin to explore each other.  All in all, low self confidence when it comes to your sexuality is something that can be worked on well before it becomes a point of contention in a relationship and if you're willing to work on it, I'm sure your partner will be as well. 

The beauty of being in a relationship with a person who has confidence in themselves is that these people are often happy with themselves.  A person who is happy with themselves and the skin they're in will be a complement to the happiness of their significant other.  On the other hand, a person who lacks confidence will often ask far more of their partner than their partner is able to give.  Unfortunately, there are some people who gather their sense of confidence and self-worth from the relationships they are in.  Those who do this oftentimes derive their happiness from their significant other.  That is one thing that no man or woman can do, no matter how hard they try. They can never be another person's source of happiness and confidence.  People lacking confidence need constant affirmation about themselves and look to their partners to be a crutch for their wounded self-esteem.  In these situations, the person who is charged with being another person's source of happiness will become mentally and emotionally exhausted from being forced to manage their own happiness as well as their partner's happiness.  Eventually, the person being a crutch to their partner's confidence will become disenchanted with the relationship and all of the work involved and leave. 

A person's lack of confidence in him or herself can translate in several other ways as well.  Probably, the worst thing it can translate into is an unhealthy lack of trust for their significant other.  Some people who lack self confidence will place their perceived inadequacies on their partner.  As a result, they'll begin to distrust their partners, feeling that he or she will jump at the chance to find someone lacking those self imposed inadequacies.  This misguided distrust can and will tear relationships apart.

Overall, loving yourself first and being confident in yourself will help you be a balanced partner in your relationship, adding to your happiness and complement the happiness of your partner.

Written by: Kwan Stafford