In a recent (and quite popular) Cafe Belle article, I explained that good men are watching you. Today, I ask you: Is your attitude keeping good men away?

This may seem like a silly question, but it is truly a question of substance. A lot of guys tend to get turned off by women who simply exude negativity, in either verbal or physical expression. Now, I'm not suggesting that you walk around hiding your real feelings and always sport a smile. But, if you tend to come across as stand-offish or flat out mean, a guy who may have approached you may very well decide that the attitude is a turn off.

If you do believe men are negatively reading your general attitude on a day to day basis, don't fret. You do not have to change who you are or "be fake" for the purposes of attracting a mate. However, a few slight adjustments in your physical and verbal expression can help lower the introduction barrier:

Eye contact: If you happen to have brief eye contact with a guy that you are interested in, don't get nervous or pretend like it didn't happen. Let a few moments go by, and casually look back at him with a pleasant expression. If he is still looking at you, it is an excellent opportunity to politely smile, and for him to know that it is a great time to approach you and introduce himself.

Always be mindful of your surroundings: You may have a hectic day and a hectic schedule, but that doesn't mean you should shut down every opportunity for someone to get to know you. Throughout the day, we are presented with many opportunities to meet new people. If you always appear hurried and have tunnel vision, your perfect guy may very well have noticed you, but figured you were too busy to approach (and possibly feared getting rejected).

Open body language versus closed body language: As I mentioned before, constant tunnel vision is a turn off to many guys. If you don't appear open to conversation or some type of dialogue, the last thing they want to do is approach you and get immediately turned down. Many men take notice of your confidence level, your general emotional predisposition, and your body language cues. If you come across like the whole world is coming down around you, he probably will keep away. Think positively about yourself, and exude "pleasant confidence". Communicate to him before you even open your mouth that you are approachable and that you won't immediately reject him from the outset. If he then approaches you and introduces himself, be polite, take down your guard (unless you feel the absolute need to have it up), and engage in courteous conversation.

At the end of the day, men are able to read you more than you believe. By maintaining a positive, confident and engaging disposition, you'll be able to open the door to new friendships, as well as new long-term relationships.

Written by: Cafe Belle's Relationship Barista