Live Your Most Beautiful Life
More often now than ever before, I hear women talk about single, ambitious, caring, and attractive black men as if they are a figment of the imagination or a Tyler Perry movie concept. In light of today's stereotype that black men cannot commit to black women or are not economically compatible with black women, the idea of a single Morris Chestnut, Boris Kodjoe or Idris Elba-looking fella (yum yum, and yum) with a degree, a career, and a desire to get married to a black woman is seemingly a dream to many, and a reality to few. Black women have been so disappointed about the possible non-existence of a compatible black male partner that they are increasingly opening their hearts to men of other colors and races in a search for love and a successful relationship.
I therefore call the successful, ambitious, caring, and possibly sexy young black male the "coveted black man." He is coveted by many women because so many black men today are simply "not doing right" and are not as ambitious for economic and relationship success as black men from previous generations. I would venture to say that this coveted black man has many options for a female counterpart in light of the high desirability factor, and yet has self control and has his eyes set for one woman that matches his interests and desires in a partner. He seriously wants to commit to a woman for life and also financially support a household.
So does this coveted black man exist or is he simply a figment of one's imagination in 2012? Trust me, he exists. I personally know a number of them. I'm definitely not one to claim that he simply does not exist and you must therefore let go of your desire for a black male partner or "date down" and date/marry a man that simply doesn't match what you are looking for. While I am totally for interracial dating and marriage, I have a strong preference for strong, intelligent, ambitious black men and have never believed that I must let go of that preference in order to find a great match for a lifetime.
Where can one find or come across this coveted black male? He is everywhere and anywhere. He is the "nerdy" quiet guy in the classroom or bookstore that is on his way to conquering his career and making a name for himself. He may be the guy that doesn't care for the club, and would prefer hanging out at a local jazz lounge, bookstore, library, or coffee hangout. He is the guy that absolutely loves his hobbies and spends his free time exploring them. He is the guy that you bump into on the street that may not come immediately across and "suave" and "cool", but wants to love you and nurture you emotionally, physically, and financially.
While many people may be telling you to give up on black men, I am one that says that there are plenty of quality black men who are looking for love. Maintain an open mind and remember that as you find yourself along your life's journey, your ideal black man may also find you.
-Written by: Cafe Belle's Relationship Barista